Adjusting to life and all about friendships

I've been thinking about moving here a lot recently and giving some thought to the differences of living in town and living in the city.  Besides the obvious changes of course!  I remember that I just wanted to live it, breathe it and some days I didn't think I could live a minute longer in the city.  The desire and the KNOWING that we were going to move EVENTUALLY at times turned me into a crazy woman with a one-track-mind.  Just driving back into the city after being away for a few hours felt like a wet blanket had been dropped over my head. It was a life-and-soul-sucking feeling.

I was talking with the farrier the other day.  She came to do Maybe-the-donkey's feet and while she worked we had a really great little chat.  She excitedly shared that since she had been here the last time they had FINALLY moved to their dream property.  They had been looking for years and had even had a tour of our farm before we bought it but the timing wasn't quite right.  Of course it wasn't.... because it was supposed to ours :)  She described her new place as 6 acres of peace and quiet.  She said the house needed some work and wasn't a "perfect" house but she is so delighted to be there.  Every morning she hears the birds singing and sees some birds she's never even seen before!  The quiet after living in the city is deafening.  She asks her husband almost daily:  have I said how much I love it here???  No honey - NOT TODAY!  

I could so relate...coming to live here was difficult for most of the rest of my family.  In different degrees they struggled with the move.  My DH had the hardest time being "so far" from town and "civilization".  He went to town almost every day for the first year we lived here.  Now sometimes a three or four days go by and we say:  oh yeah we haven't left the farm for a few days.  My kids had never known anything but the house in town and it held a lot of memories.  There some sadness but my daughter now says the worst thing about moving was that we couldn't get the antique wardrobe out of the basement so it had to stay there.  They have all happily adjusted and I used to bite my tongue so I didn't say I TOLD YOU SO!  (cause I did tell them so!)

I left the house in town without a backwards glance.  My Mom and I finished cleaning the house from top to bottom, locked up the doors and drove away.  I was so glad to be done with it and I couldn't have been happier about going to the country!  Every day here is such a blessing and to paraphrase of bumper sticker I once saw:

A bad day living on the farm is better than ANY day living in the city.

(that might be just a touch overly dramatic.)

If I had one thing that perhaps surprised me or caught me off guard it was just one area - friends.  I've always been a little bit different - I home schooled, cooked healthy food from scratch whenever possible, didn't go-with-the flow when it came to parenting or decision-making, decided I was less interested in what people thought of me and more interested in what God thought of me and wanted me to do with my life.  I took the "left turn in Albuquerque" and never came back.  Some of my friends would smile politely and once in awhile even seemed to be interested!  I just couldn't imagine that a move 15 minutes away would be the end of many of those friendships...but it was.  The distance and the lifestyle change was just too much of a strain for some.  I have less time and less interest so the responsibility lies with my choices as well.  I just didn't see it coming.

That made me sad.  It also had me searching my heart for why it happened.  I finally realised that life is a series of seasons and THAT season was over and a new one was beginning.  

For everything there is a season,     a time for every activity under heaven.

² 

A time to be born and a time to die.     A time to plant and a time to harvest.

³ 

...

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A time to cry and a time to laugh.     A time to grieve and a time to dance.

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...

    A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 

 

A time to search and a time to quit searching

....

    A time to keep and a time to throw away.

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 (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

That made it a little easier.  I have an adventurers heart so a new thing is always exciting!  But I am also a firmly-rooted lover of all things old and stable at the same time.  I wanted to move HERE but I never want to move again.   My elderly neighbour used to tell me that he was going to leave his home in a pine box - and he did - that is my declaration too - especially since he was very elderly!

I've mentioned before that it is difficult to "break in" to a new community.  You're the "new people" for 20 years!  As time goes by we're feeling more and more like we belong here but I am so grateful for my faithful friends and family - the ones that have stuck by our family through thick and thin, through disappointment and failure and through this crazy adventure in country living.  Without them life would be empty and lonely.  As my roots grow deep here at Shalom Engedi Farm I  know that the future holds wonderful treasures of new friends, new promises and new adventures.

Perhaps if you have dreams of moving and change in your life you will need to cross this bridge too - I'm just here to light the path... and I'm so glad you're along for the ride!

No man is an island...

I was considering what a typical prepper family might look like and I couldn't really come up with an answer. I suppose if there was one we-wouldn't-be-it. All I know is that I have no illusions about being an independent survivalist happily living in the back woods eating squirrels and sleeping in a lean-to. I'm not even preparing for that and I LIKE camping.

We're here for better or for worse and so we're going to make the best of it.

My DH has Muscular Dystrophy. He's mobile but hindered by his condition. I live with diabetes. My son has a learning disability. We've all learned to adapt to our collective situation. My DH cuts down trees sitting in a lawn chair. He has a most awesome cane made out of shovel handle that he uses for wandering the back paddock and getting around the farm. My son and I have learned to rely on each other to handle everything from lugging heavy bags of feed (which I could hardly do last year - this year=muscles!) or chasing wayward animals back into their pens. That means the big lifting jobs and chores are left to my son and I and any extra kids I can rope into coming over to stay for awhile and help out (thanks to Jacquie, Sarah, Danny and Courtney who helped out in the past few weeks!) Some of my own kids are married and moved out, some are away at school so even though I am prepping for a crowd most of the time it's-just-the-three-or-four-of-us.

I am preparing to live in community. I know that regardless of what happens in the future the answer is to be part of a community. I have a relationship with Rebecca the sheep shearer, Lew our handyman, Karen the donkey farrier, Dale the electric fence guy, my mail carriers Cathy and Dolly, my many and assorted country neighbours, farming cousins, church members, city friends, friends online and my immediate family. I will never be an island. I would be bored silly and I'd have to start talking to myself (oh- I already do that!).

I wonder sometimes if life would be simpler without all this community fuss. It means learning to communicate and have boundaries. It means accommodating people and dealing with problems when things don't go as planned. It means putting up with extra laundry, more mouths to feed, different sleep schedules, different personalities...and dirty socks on the living room floor. Deep down I know it's worth the effort but when I'm texting SHUT UP AND GO TO BED at 1am to my teenage house guests I have a few doubts - smile. In reality this IS life and it's exactly the one I want.

I don't know how to do everything but almost certainly one of my friends does. They aren't even necessarily preppers...yet. We help each other. I can be a listening ear or an answer to a canning question for a friend. They rewire my barn, help move heavy animal feeders or take my extra pumpkins (those are extra good friends!)

Who do you lean on? Are you in danger of becoming an island? No one can do it all even in the best of health. Reach out and start building community today. It will enrich your life now and most definitely be a blessing in the future whatever it brings.

Church Penny Sale

I had heard about the Penny Sale to raise money for the local church but I didn't know what it was...until a few months ago.

Last year My-Friend-Donna-who-lives-in-town called to give me the dates for the Penny Sale and I was really disappointed that I couldn't make it.  For me moving to the country meant getting involved in the local community and this was a great opportunity and I had to miss it.  Well - I guess I went on and on about how sorry I was to have missed it because Donna decided that they would change the night - just-for-me.  I felt so special! 

I didn't realise at the time that she had ulterior motives…(smile). 

Planning work began in October.  She and her DH tried really hard to explain the whole thing to me.  I must have looked as confused as I felt because she suddenly had a bright idea.  Come with me and a few friends to the Seniors Penny Sale the next town over and you'll get to see it all in action. 

After a full afternoon with someone giving me the tour I finally understood - my visual learning style came out!  It was a great community bonding event and a lot of fun. 

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about here's the basics.

1. A wild and varied assortment of gently used and new items are donated to the cause by community members who set things aside or make beautifully handcrafted items all year long just so they can donate them.
2. All the items are set out on tables - much like a giant bazaar room  - and each item has a cup attached to it.
3. First you pay a $2.00 admission fee that gets you coffee, tea and goodies.
4. Then you buy penny sale tickets - One big ticket stub with 25 little stubs - all with the same number on them. (It used to be 100 tickets for $1.00 - now it's 75 - inflation I guess - thus the term "Penny Sale")
5. You cruise the selection and drop your tickets into the cups of the items you are interested in.
6. After a set time everyone settles in to hear the numbers being drawn and the winners have the items delivered right to their seats.

My biggest hint is to start ripping apart your ticket stubs at home - it took much longer than I thought it would and by the end I had the whole family furiously ripping stubs as the time to leave to serve the coffee drew near! 

It was a fantastic night.  Aunt Ruby's canning, Donna's quilted pillows and stockings and the bake table were among the highlights.  If all goes well you end up with the things you wanted - like the 100th anniversary commemorative plates and mugs from the local church or some quilted stockings! 

I spent the first part of the night serving coffee and tea and trying hard to remember everyone's names.  At least the faces are getting more and more familiar! 

DH and I sat with two of our kids and Mr. Farmer - the previous owner of Shalom Engedi Farms.  I was feeling sorry for him because none of his numbers were being pulled but then I found out he had placed ALL his tickets in the baking area.  When the numbers were called for the bake table he had a big grin on his face - I think he bought lots of tickets!  He really likes baking.  He even accidentally won a jar of jam which he promptly traded someone for more baking - guess I know what to make him for Christmas! 

It takes time to build relationships but it's worth it.  I love my small community...and I'm already looking forward to next year - besides I need to win a match to my quilted pillow! 

Photographers

I have some very wonderful and talented friends and they are going to allow me to use their photos for my blog. I'll recognise WHOSE-IS-WHOSE by adding their name below the photo - ENJOY!


This one is by Allison - a very lovely and talented young friend - Thanks Allie!