Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Adjusting to life and all about friendships

I've been thinking about moving here a lot recently and giving some thought to the differences of living in town and living in the city.  Besides the obvious changes of course!  I remember that I just wanted to live it, breathe it and some days I didn't think I could live a minute longer in the city.  The desire and the KNOWING that we were going to move EVENTUALLY at times turned me into a crazy woman with a one-track-mind.  Just driving back into the city after being away for a few hours felt like a wet blanket had been dropped over my head. It was a life-and-soul-sucking feeling.

I was talking with the farrier the other day.  She came to do Maybe-the-donkey's feet and while she worked we had a really great little chat.  She excitedly shared that since she had been here the last time they had FINALLY moved to their dream property.  They had been looking for years and had even had a tour of our farm before we bought it but the timing wasn't quite right.  Of course it wasn't.... because it was supposed to ours :)  She described her new place as 6 acres of peace and quiet.  She said the house needed some work and wasn't a "perfect" house but she is so delighted to be there.  Every morning she hears the birds singing and sees some birds she's never even seen before!  The quiet after living in the city is deafening.  She asks her husband almost daily:  have I said how much I love it here???  No honey - NOT TODAY!  

I could so relate...coming to live here was difficult for most of the rest of my family.  In different degrees they struggled with the move.  My DH had the hardest time being "so far" from town and "civilization".  He went to town almost every day for the first year we lived here.  Now sometimes a three or four days go by and we say:  oh yeah we haven't left the farm for a few days.  My kids had never known anything but the house in town and it held a lot of memories.  There some sadness but my daughter now says the worst thing about moving was that we couldn't get the antique wardrobe out of the basement so it had to stay there.  They have all happily adjusted and I used to bite my tongue so I didn't say I TOLD YOU SO!  (cause I did tell them so!)

I left the house in town without a backwards glance.  My Mom and I finished cleaning the house from top to bottom, locked up the doors and drove away.  I was so glad to be done with it and I couldn't have been happier about going to the country!  Every day here is such a blessing and to paraphrase of bumper sticker I once saw:

A bad day living on the farm is better than ANY day living in the city.

(that might be just a touch overly dramatic.)

If I had one thing that perhaps surprised me or caught me off guard it was just one area - friends.  I've always been a little bit different - I home schooled, cooked healthy food from scratch whenever possible, didn't go-with-the flow when it came to parenting or decision-making, decided I was less interested in what people thought of me and more interested in what God thought of me and wanted me to do with my life.  I took the "left turn in Albuquerque" and never came back.  Some of my friends would smile politely and once in awhile even seemed to be interested!  I just couldn't imagine that a move 15 minutes away would be the end of many of those friendships...but it was.  The distance and the lifestyle change was just too much of a strain for some.  I have less time and less interest so the responsibility lies with my choices as well.  I just didn't see it coming.

That made me sad.  It also had me searching my heart for why it happened.  I finally realised that life is a series of seasons and THAT season was over and a new one was beginning.  

For everything there is a season,     a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.     A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.     A time to grieve and a time to dance.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 
A time to search and a time to quit searching


    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
 (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

That made it a little easier.  I have an adventurers heart so a new thing is always exciting!  But I am also a firmly-rooted lover of all things old and stable at the same time.  I wanted to move HERE but I never want to move again.   My elderly neighbour used to tell me that he was going to leave his home in a pine box - and he did - that is my declaration too - especially since he was very elderly!

I've mentioned before that it is difficult to "break in" to a new community.  You're the "new people" for 20 years!  As time goes by we're feeling more and more like we belong here but I am so grateful for my faithful friends and family - the ones that have stuck by our family through thick and thin, through disappointment and failure and through this crazy adventure in country living.  Without them life would be empty and lonely.  As my roots grow deep here at Shalom Engedi Farm I  know that the future holds wonderful treasures of new friends, new promises and new adventures.

Perhaps if you have dreams of moving and change in your life you will need to cross this bridge too - I'm just here to light the path... and I'm so glad you're along for the ride!


  1. Well said.

    Each time I go into the "country" I feel like I am going home but the same can not be said for most people.

  2. Love the bumper sticker. We are currently slugging it along in town, but miss our rural house. One day, I'd like to build something in the country. I miss our chickens and garden and space. Our oldest misses his cows, and hubby just misses the family and space, oh and the total lack of "rules." (He so doesn't do home owners associations and such.)

    1. I can imagine that would be even harder - most people don't know what they are missing. Hugs Dani!

  3. No, you aren't alone. We've been homeschooling for the past 12 years.. he graduates in June. We live in the country, have our little group of farm animals, plant gardens, have fruit trees, put food up, sew our curtains, shop at thrift stores, LOVE our church, and the Lord, and have pulled out of the throng that thinks we're different, and found those who are just as different, but now, we're the same! ha Same values, same beliefs, same dreams for our and our children's future. This is our season of life, and I too have said, if the Lord will allow, I wish to leave this home in a pine box.

    1. I have officially "retired" from home schooling two years ago. I'm glad I am busy with things here or I would miss it but that was a season and a wonderful one at that. Thanks for letting me know so we can feel comforted that we are weird together :)

  4. Hi Anita..nice pages..enjoy your style and stories. I have family all over this text is way small for an old near blind guy..:) we said out west back at the ranch..things are rollin along nicely. Soon start building my "camp" of skid trailers, keeps the tax man and other beercrats away.:) Is portable. Sits on 14 acres in NB now. Love it here, reminds of Ontario, my birth province, as it was when things were still pretty wild and wooly.
    Moved to Alberta in 59 and found out what wild and wooly really is..and again progress, drove me out after 51 years. Pollution and population moved in. No potable water in many areas, from gas well fraking..ya..NB is toying with the idea of destroying out water for profit.. politicians are such dunder heads..always the fast buck and mismanagement, future generations can whistle their sad tunes later. Burns me.
    I like that pine box statement, same here..:) Got it all goin on. Water access to the nearest towns on St John river, so be building a boat too:)Over 600 ft above river level so no flooding worries there.
    I do some placer gold prospecting summers and some times do pretty well. Property is right on top of a mother load but a bit deep, besides, going to be staking at least one claim this summer and not rip up my paradise, might drill a few test holes to see what's there and how deep.. buthave a spring so not really wanting to risk messing with that.
    Many farms close by and markets that. Lots of maritme cottage industries, love that. Lots of ops for artists, and being into stone and wood carvings I love that too.:) Best place for me to retire to.
    Can't see putting a lot of money into the place though. Too old. Play time now. Prepping is fun. I enjoy the food prep etc. DIY projects. enjoy just listening to the birds and gazing out the window at the Appalachians and River valley below and spreads out like a panoramic painting, natures canvas.:)
    Fishing of course, camera hunting. Hiking a bit. Just easy livin now. Going to install some passive solar heaters too, wind power, solar power, play around with the Stubblefield transformer idea for charging batteries from earth energies. Was used on 18th century telegraph lines for their batteries and powered the lines even when the batteries had stopped working..produces some nice power too. Also install a hydro power unit with a drop flume. A wind turbine from Canadian Tire ..:) no power poles and mortgages for 25 years for that alone.
    I get the city thing, feeling like one more day is the end of it :) Gads what a rat race of stinkin smog and incivilies.:) I feel very sorry for the peeps that think they are livin..they are not, just existing. I guess if they love it then fine, but I suspect that survival in the city means loving it or be forever aggravated..:)
    That Quich recipe has my stomach growling will be having a snack any minute now..nice to read about your experiences. Thanks for sharing them. Hullo to hubby from an ol bush ape too.:) Peace folks..Will or RusticRV64
    ( the options for a handle don't fit me.. not much of one size fits all does :) )


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